Now more than ever, it is as powerful as a nuclear weapon, or it can be as powerful as the nuclear family. The nuclear family has been changing. It’s shifted. Its dynamic is different. More than not, so many families do not have the traditional mother and father both at home, so that calls for systems. We have to realign ourselves to what works in today’s domestic, international, spiritual, and emotional demands, such as ‘we want to have a wholeness in life.’

We need a wholeness in order to have a holy life and a fulfilled life. If all that we have is fragments in our minds, hearts, pockets, and in our purpose, we’ll never be whole. Now family has always realigned us, that we were parts, we became the whole, and became one. The oneness of love, the oneness of family, the oneness of understanding are more, now than ever, difficult to find as an individual.

WOMENZ STRAIGHT TALK PRINT + DIGITAL MEDIA. GRAPHIC ART AND DESIGN - IMAGE BY_CASSANDRA A. TINDAL

Dr. Glenn Toby, Shares His Wisdom, Understanding, and Perspective on Relationships and Systems to Advance Women

Systems have to come into place. Historically if you look back at it, it was founded through the church. The teachings of people who went through dating, or grade school, or just childhood love that had respect. They respected their parents and what their parents wanted for them. Their morals were different. But, the social demands and the pressures were different.

If none of the old school systems are working, we as a group of people need systems, which means individuals need to be aligned to the system that they’re going to eventually go into. That system could be one of the traditional husband and wife. It could be the lady that is completely single and never wants to marry or have children, but she still needs to align to a greater system. Her neighbor may have children or the family upstairs might be married and may provide some part of that systemic environment necessary.

The fastest and strongest way for a woman to get to her mission, and we pray it is mission-minded by spirit, mind, body, soul, and with great purpose. There are a lot of ladies, but very few women left. There are a lot of males and guys, but there are very few men left. We have to align the men and the women up in a way that they can lead the ladies and the guys. It’s like a tier system, like building up. Women have to start charting and planning out their life. They really shouldn’t be afraid to. With these freedoms that women have had over the last 40 years, women are now charting out what they want in their life. What they expect from a man, what they can no longer accept, what is missing or found in the relationships they’ve had, or expect to have.

The Sisters and Sisterhood Have To Be Strategic: I think women have to be more strategic and not rely on the traditional hierarchy, the way men have always ruled the landscape of relationships and pretty much everything, from jobs to politics and education. I think now that the sisters and sisterhood have to be strategic, have to be planned, and have to be systematic. Every now and then, the woman that understands the system that they’re not in, or that they are in, will find the magic of love where it’s just pulling them into a situation that just automatically works. In the event the storybook love doesn’t come, they’ve got other frameworks and systems to work with. Glenn continues, “I gained an understanding from my lack of understanding. As a single man, never married, I have dated and generally been in relationships for long periods of time. I realized that it’s more difficult to be alone and in need, alone or not with a complete partner, or in a relationship that you think you have that companionship, then it is to be in a relationship where you’re struggling and pulling apart. You’re struggling, pulling apart if you’re going through the general demands of any relationship. I mean we have relationships, mother, father, son, friend, neighbor, community. Those nuances and the demands on just being a human being on this planet is a challenge enough.

You complicate emotions, love, feelings, thoughts; it becomes so, so challenging. But I’ve found in these trying times and these final days, it is better off to struggle with somebody than to struggle without. This means you have to leave a lot of yourself out of the relationship to make enough room for the person that you want to be in it with, or you have to put the best part of yourself in, so you can redefine and grow together. If this can’t happen, you’re not going to really have a flowing relationship that’s sustainable or that is fulfilling. I think the most honest thing somebody can say is not what they’re looking for, but it’s what they’re not looking for. I think when you go into a relationship, you have to always measure what it’s like without this person. Is this what God’s calling for? Is this what your circumstances are calling for? How do you line up this relationship? It’s just as important as how we dissolve these relationships and separate, as it is to come together. Sometimes, we can come together as a unit and we’re still separated.

LOVE IS POWER

The Human Desire In Us Is To Have Relationships, Love, and Family: I think most people say this, but I’ve never said that a relationship has to be 50-50 because someone said so. It has to be two 100’s, right? One partner is 100%; the other partner is 100%. If that person’s at zero, you still have 100 at all times. If you’re both at half, you’re still at 100. If you’re both at zero, there’s nowhere to go but up.

But people generally bring half. They usually prepare for their share, their half. They usually show up and develop for their sphere or their portion of the relationship, and it has to be them and more. It takes that much to be in a relationship. It takes when you’re giving half of yourself that you still have the other half there which makes a hundred for you.”

Discovery Of Yourself and Being Truly Honest: Dr. Glenn Toby says, “I think it’s the discovery of yourself. I think it is people being truly honest with themselves; to know what they won’t accept, what they can accept, where they don’t want to go. I mean, you don’t have to come in with a laundry list talking to your potential lover, husband, wife, friend or companion, but you can just kind of open up with some of the things that are important for you. It’s almost as though you were doing a business plan or you were making a presentation. It doesn’t have to be like, I want ‘x’ amount of money, I wanna live here, I don’t like this food, I don’t like that. It can very much just be like the landscape of what the perfect world looks like for you, the landscape of what an unfulfilling world looks like. That could be like right now I’m in heaven by myself, but what am I making an adjustment for? Or it could be, I’m not in heaven right now. I think transparency is so important. People don’t do the research and they don’t plan enough, because I didn’t ever plan enough because God is the greatest planner.

We know that we’re in these trying times that demand so much of individuals. We have to really be honest with ourselves. If we’re not honest with ourselves, if we’re not going to be completely transparent, we’re just adding drama. This is why you have so many trauma bonds today. This is why we have so many people who are non-committal in the relationship, because they just either don’t wanna be lonely or they’re just facilitating whatever is needed to stay in commission, or in communication, with the person.”

Do Women Love Differently Then Men?

Dr . Glenn Toby goes on with, I think love is an interpretation of how someone doesn’t transmodulate, or doesn’t have something else. So, love means patience, sacrifice, kindness at all times; we fail at this often because we always express our feelings and sometimes, we can hurt the other person. Sometimes, we’re in denial or in need. I think love is truly an action and it is not a thought or a feeling. Most people like the feeling of love, the stimuli, the ideology, and the philosophy. The precept supersedes the hard work and the power of love, because the power of love should overpower everything. The things you don’t like, the differences, the pain, the mistakes, the shortcomings, that’s true love. Loving something in a relationship, whether it’s platonic, or sexual, or emotional, if it’s not tied by challenges, shortcomings, and a pulling that almost pulls the life of you to give to that other person, you might be in lust, or you just might be in like, because love is a tough thing today.

It’s difficult for people to stay alive and wake up every day. So many people don’t love the conditions we’re in today. Some people don’t love politics or finance or even love where our world is. Imagine if you’re putting two flawed people, two human beings who are suffering and we’re asking them to find this magic, this specialness, this uniqueness of love in such trying times. It could be close to impossible unless you’re open and honest so you can kind of help each other fulfill or compromise. If you really look at the widening of how humanity is being stretched, people are on zoom calls more than ever, they’re texting, and we got AI to complete our feelings and thoughts. I mean, how many people are really going to put that much work into writing a love letter or writing a note that is passionate or that has purpose? I think that defines where we’re going in these days forward in communication because of this selflessness.

So a sharing spirit is what the world is going to need. We’re going to have challenges with the environment, with economics, challenges with politics, religion. We’re in a shifting world. I think communal love, meaning it’s a wholeness of love and not just the makeup, the hair, the nails, the suits, the bags, the chains, the cars. We got to find love again. Each person has to identify love on their own terms. These are the things that people have to figure out; What are they really looking for? What do they really want? Where are they? I think resolutely people have to bring their full self, their undeveloped self, and the person that they don’t know. That’s why we talk about compassion and respect, patience, honesty, and friendship. From there, you’ll know if you need therapy or if you’re going to get therapy. Do you have a psychiatrist? Are you talking

to your clergy or your minister? Have you resolved issues at home? How has your past affected today? How will today affect tomorrow? When you’re with somebody, you want to make sure the person you’re with you can enhance to be better to you and with you. So it’s all a gift! When you don’t do that, it’s just people bumping in the night. It’s important to set boundaries and to have goals and presets because sometimes people break up or they can’t break up because they have so much of themselves tied up into somebody else. Where are you with your finances? Where are you with your dreams? Do your dreams and realities match? Or, are you more dream than reality?

These are important things to understand.

The End!

Building Relationships and Systems To Advance Women

Dr. Glenn Toby, Shares His Wisdom, Understanding, and Perspective on Relationships and Systems to Advance Women

LOVE IS POWER

Do Women Love Differently Then Men?

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